Home » Uncategorized » No Yaya, No Problem! (A Stay At Home Mom’s Guide to Survival) 

No Yaya, No Problem! (A Stay At Home Mom’s Guide to Survival) 

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I often get surprised remarks when people around me finds out that Mori doesn’t have a nanny… More surprised when my husband tells them that we don’t have a household helper at all. A usual follow up question is “how do you manage to do it?” I would normally just laugh, put a candy in my mouth, raise my right hand to the air and shout Darna!”. Joke! 😛

Here’s a few tips on how I barely make it through the day.

 1.) Give your back a rest by  doing the laundry everyday if you can. You read that correctly, e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y.

Failing to do so will make your workload more time consuming and can eventually put a strain on your back. It’s a different story of course if you have an automatic washing machine! It’s what Alwyn and I is praying for. A very good investment! If your budget allows you to buy one, you should.

2.) Plan ahead and slowly establish a routine.

I usually do the planning during the wee hours of the morning. I jot down household chores that needs to be prioritized, I also write down what meals I’ll make and the like. I emphasized on “slowly” establishing a routine because with a child in tow, sudden mishaps can happen. Like in our home, there are days wherein Mori would be more than willing to sit next to me in her bouncer while I do the laundry for 2-3 hours. She would just sit there and watch the leaves fall from the trees when the wind blows a little harder than usual. She’d happily stare at the birds that rest on top of our gate, our cats circling her served as a good enough entertaintment and would smile at our neighbors as they pass by. But then there will be days where the act of lowering her to her bouncer would cue me to understand that nope! Laundry would have to wait till night time when my husband arrives from work so he could watch over Mori.

3.) Be realistic.

Don’t sulk when your daily routine gets disrupted. Accept the fact that having no helper means that the house won’t be at it’s tip top shape at all times.

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4.) It’s true what they say,“It takes a tremendous village to raise a child”.

With that being said, call your in-laws or have a friend over once a week. Tell them you’ll be needing someone to watch over your baby while you deal with unfinished chores that should have been done days before.

Example: dirty laundry, mopping of floor, cleaning the bathroom, marinating meals for the coming days and so on.

5.) Don’t do household chores when baby is sleeping. Do it while baby is awake!

You’ll be surprised with how cooperative babies can be. When someone asks me what in particular is Mori’s favorite toy, I am quick to answer, hanger at sipit! Why? Because it’s what she see’s me using most of the time!

Babies who wants to be outside the home almost all the time or fusses less when in the mall is a sign that baby is getting little stimulation inside the home. Babies yearn to imitate. They prefer the world outside the home because there is a lot of activity and movement. I started noticing this when Mori complains every time I use my laptop or iPad for long periods of time. Again, there is no movement involved! The next time that your preparing ingredients to cook, do it where your baby will see you. Peel vegetables on the table with your child on her high chair instead of doing it in the kitchen sink where baby wouldn’t see the action that you are doing. Baby will no longer be bored and you get things done around the house! Everybody happy!

P.S. When baby is alseep, put your headphones on and listen to nursery rhymes on Youtube. Memorize a few then the next time that you’re doing a household chore and baby is starting to get bored, do it while singing. Sing to your child. Don’t open the iPad and make her watch it for herself. 

Here’s a sample scenario:

Mommy: *scrubs cloth diapers with soap to remove urine*

Baby: Starts whining and scratches head irritably out of boredom. Makes a crying sound but no tears.

Mommy: *engages with baby* You want to go outside because it’s hot here, yes? Okay! Let’s sing I have two hands first. *Mommy starts singing with enthusiasm* Mommy opens the faucet to remove soap in her hands, sets the basins aside and dries hand etc. Mommy does all this while singing. Distracting baby with singing buys Mommy a maximum of 15 minutes, use that time to prepare yourself and leave the scene with your baby without the drama of her crying her way out of the situation.

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6. Don’t let time dictate if you’re opening a can of Spam or preparing a healthy meal for the family.

It is my duty as the wife of Alwyn and a mother to Mori to prepare meals that are good for them. I don’t want them to be sick because of what I serve them on a daily basis. More importantly, I choose a healthier lifestyle because I came to understand that taking good care of our body is something that my family owes to the Lord. It’s just wrong to take our health for granted, especially because of what Jesus had to go through on the cross just so we could live the life that we are living now.

Here’s a verse that you can reflect on and motivate you to prepare healthier meals.

You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

7. Maximize the benefit of using your husband’s credit card to pay for Uber. Kidding! Not kidding.

Include your Mommy Friends in your life’s list of necessities. If they have a child whose age is close to yours the better! Your baby and hers can play and distract each other while you get to enjoy long converstaions over a good food with your friend. 

P.S. Uber will only ask for your husband’s credit card number ONCE. Meaning, on your next ride with them, you don’t have to ask for your husband’s permission and use it anyway. Hahaha! I am just joking!

For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. Ephesians 5:22-23a

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8.) Babywear.

When Mori was still a newborn and my husband is away to work, I remember crying so many times. I wasn’t expeting motherhood to be so hard. I felt that I wasn’t being a good wife to Alwyn because the house is a mess when he gets home, Mori and I were having troubles with breastfeeding and I just can’t seem to be of any use because we all know how newborns can be demanding of their needs! All this ended when I found out about babywearing and received not just one but two kinds of carriers. Since then,  I became more efficient at home. I was able to do the dishes and cook even if Mori wants to be held. Every mother should have one!

9.) Breastfeed!

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One of the most beautiful breastfeeding photos that I’ve seen. Lola comfort feeds her apo. Takes my breath away every time! ❤

Full credit to BreastfeedingArt on Instagram for this photo. 

It may be the year 2016, but still,  no formula milk is proven to be better than the milk that comes from a Mother’s breast. I guess if a Mother has a helper at home, cleaning of the feeding bottles wouldn’t be so much of a pain but for mom’s like me, having to sanitize those bottles on top of scrubbing bathroom tiles, wiping baby’s urine off the floor,  not to mention, taking good care of two more cats that think they must be cared for equally because they are little humans… The sterilizing and constant cleaning of bottles will just add up to the many other chores that I barely get done in time! And oh, If I haven’t mentioned it yet, my husband and I still get to eat in our favorite restaurants because there is no designated budget for formula milk which is really expensive.

P.S. If for some reason the woman who is reading this is a formula feeding mommy, please don’t let the world eat you up.  Yes I am a believer and stand by the truth that breast is best. God will not put milk there if it’s not meant to nourish his own creation the best possible way. But if for some reason your family chooses to formula feed. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel guilty about it. For one, fomula feeding does not make you less of a mother. Two, if you choose to breastfeed and your baby is no longer a newborn, let’s say 6 months… Breastfeeding is still possible! I will introduce you to my breastfriend, Nurse Joyce. There is a way for you to produce milk again! Three, breastfeeding or not. Remember that God still finds favor in you. There’s just too much hate on the internet and I dislike seeing mother’s fight each other. No to Mommy Wars! Just… STOP ALREADY.

10.) Pray.

As with any relationship, it will not grow unless you communicate with each other. Therefore, I make it a point that no matter how crazy my day ends, I will end it with me and Jesus talking. I would usually start my quiet time when my husband and Mori is already sleeping. I find peace in knowing that when finally, it is time for me to rest, Jesus is waiting for me in the corner of our bedroom. He knew exactly how my day went but He would still listen as I tell him all about it anyway. There is joy in my heart in knowing that I should be strong for my husband and Mori but when it comes to the Lord, I can be weak. His arms are wide enough to hug me and whoever needed one. I strive to be the wife Alwyn is expecting of me because I love him but I am trying even harder each day because I know I am serving Jesus every time I submit to my husband. With every diaper change, the Lord is smiling. I am taking good care of his daughter that He entrusted to me and my husband. That’s the secret… Do things with great love… All for the Lord, Jesus Christ.

Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you are working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward and that the Master you are serving is Christ. – Colossians 4:23-24

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15 thoughts on “No Yaya, No Problem! (A Stay At Home Mom’s Guide to Survival) 

  1. Hi @dearcatlady!
    This entry made me cry! I am a mom of a 26 months old toddler and a 6 months old baby. I tandem breastfeed, exclusively use cloth diapers, babywear, practice baby lead weaning and co-sleep. We live abroad and have no yaya but my Aunt is here to help us but only for a few months. With my first child, I was just like you, it’s me and baby at home, while the husband works. But when the 2nd came, parang di ko kakayanin. We might starve because I haven’t cooked lunch because of 2 babies na adik sa milk. For the first 3 months, most of my entire day is spent lying in bed breastfeeding my 2 children. Eldest fed like a newborn. I just let him, to give him the assurance that his sister is not a threat. Having my Aunt made life a little easier, someone would help me with the cloth diapers, the laundry, the cleaning of the house and we get to eat healthy and on time. Plus I have someone to talk with during the day aside from my two kids. She’s heaven-sent! But she’s not going to stay here for long because of visa limitations. Grabeh, when I think about us being all by ourselves, naiiyak ako. But after reading your post, lalo na the last part about praying, I feel na kakayanin ko. I need only to trust Him who gives me strength and do everything with great love. Superwoman version 2.0.

    Thank you for writing this survival guide. It truly is inspiring. If Ive read this before I gave birth to my 2nd, I think I would have cried buckets and would write my own survival guide (for stay at home moms with a toddler and a baby bump). Haha!

    Looking forward to your post on blw. I started feeding my 6months old the blw way. My eldest was blw baby until 1 year. I spoonfed him after (just so he could eat more) because he did not gain weight for 3-4 months and Im not a believer of vitamins.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Kristel! Just like you there is so much I’d like to say. I guess I’ll start with saying thank you. I am surprised with the response that my blog is getting from mother’s all over the world. There is an instant connection when two Mom’s get to share stories noh? Like with you, even if we only get to speak virtually, I feel like we are good friends because of our common interests and the similarities of some of our situations. I am also happy that we share the same faith. That alone is enough assurance that Kristel, even if your Aunt will no longer be around due to her visa restrictions, that wouldn’t cripple you at all. I am sure within a few weeks/months, you’ll get hang of it. Your decision to breastfeed your eldest as much as he wants so that he wouldn’t feel that her sister is a threat made me teary-eyed! I wish to do same with Mori in the future. You inspire me also because you have a beautiful heart! 🙂

      About writing your own survival guide for mother’s who has 2 children. GO FOR IT! Actually, thepassionatemom.wordpress.com is also a mom of two you might want to read what she has to say. She’s my friend and I always look forward to her posts and advice.

      Where exactly do you live? Baka may Every Nation Church dyan. 🙂 It’s nice to have a spiritual family, you can start building one by joining a local christian church with your husband and kids.

      Regarding baby led weaning, let’s update each other please! Not to scare you, but use Youtube to see how to handle first aid on choking because recently, Mori choked and I got so scared but still, BLW pa rin kami. Wouldn’t have it any other way. What were the first foods that you offered to your 6 months old? How did you cook them? I’ve given carrots, sweet potato, watermelon, avocado, melon , broccoli, cauliflower, potato, a chunk of meat and papaya.

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  2. Hi!

    Yes, I also read thepassionatemom’s blog. I like her post about disciplining her toddler. I was also inspired by her waterbirth story.

    We live in Brunei as my husband works here. I have a friend here who is a stay at home mom and wife too. We are from the same province in the Philippines and her husband and mine are officemates. Her baby and my baby were born just 2 weeks apart. So we often share notes kahit virtual lang. She goes to CCF, Im considering coming with her this Sunday and inviting her over to the house so the babies can play. Id also love my kids to have friends here. I have actually shared your blog to her because while reading, naisip ko sya and this might help her. She said, nainspire daw sya maglinis, if you can, then we can!

    We’ve tried purple sweet potato, orange sweet potato, potato, carrots, squash, banana, avocado and now we’re having sayote. I steam them using the steamer that comes with the rice cooker while cooking rice para save sa oras and gas or kuryente. I feed just once during lunch and bath her after. At first, para syang nasusuka at nandidiri sa food, pero each day I can see improvements like she’s already picking up the slice I give her, she puts it in her mouth and bite (she cut her first two lower teeth last week, yay!). She dont really get to eat much but she gets to explore and learn.

    With my eldest, I can say that our blw efforts paid off. He eats veggies (but we also went through the picky eater toddler phase), he loves fruits! He knew how to drink from a cup before 1 year (he havent tried a sippy, from breast to regular cup and tumbler with straw when going out). Knows how to use spoon and fork. He really chews his food well before swallowing and hindi niya sinisipsip lang. This is quite negligent sa part namin though, yung minsan may nasamang bones sa fish na malilit, Im thankful na blw kami kasi hindi niya nilulunok agad ang food, nakukuha niya yung bones and niluluwa. Mabilis lang din yung phase namin where he puts into his mouth everything. He knows na food lang goes into our mouth and non food should not. He also talks clearly now kasi naeexercise lagi ang jaws kakachew. And it is also very convenient for us moms with no yayas or help. We get to eat with them and not wait until they finish. Less din sa hugasin (no special gadgets and storage). Convenient din when travelling as no special preparations are needed. We just bring bananas or apples or when his a little older, grapes, we’re good to go na. And it’s amazing to witness your baby’s development everyday in this area. Soon you will know what Im talking about.

    Sorry for this telenovela post. It’s just that I don’t have many mommy friends who share the same interest with me. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you so much Jennica sa blog mo.. Sobrang na-encourage ako kasi like you mag-isa lang din naiiwan with baby Ashton (3 weeks old). Nakakaiyak talaga hindi ko rin expected na mahirap. Pero masarap feeling na hands on sa family and that will glorify our Lord! God bless you more!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You’ve changed so much since you became a wife/mom and that is very inspiring. I love reading your blog since your motherhood because I know it’s real and from the heart. This post in particular, I know from how you spoke that what you claim (no yaya no helper) is true. As a mom of a 2 yo girl without a yaya and helper (abroad) , I know how it feels and I know how real yayaless and no helpers talk and thats exactly how you act; unlike other celebrities who pretend to be one when there isnt even anything wrong with it in the first place. It’s just a choice.

    I totally agree with everything you said. I just thought I’d also share a few things that worked for me and may help you.

    1) Invest in a washing machine and yes, still wash everyday. The washing machine has a sensor that customises the water level and length of washng time depending on the load so ur electricity and water is nto wasted. Having a washing machine will save you time – no need to explain hehe. What I usually do is when my baby is in bed I turn on the wash and it shouls be done in 45 mins average. Then I hang INSIDE the house (since its already night time and too dark to go out). The next moring, all I do is carry the portable clothes line outside (i only use 2 and its enough for my family of 3 because I was everyday anyway) but if it is raining or if Im going out and weather is unpredictable, I keep it in. That’s the beauty of this trick too -the weather won’t stop you. To be honest, the heat in the philippines + auto spin dry of your washer might even be enough to dry it overnight, if not, it will surely be dry by the next night you do your next wash. I can attest to that, it happens during summer here abroad (even in winter it manages to dry).

    2) Establish a sleep routine. By 4 months you can set feeding, nap time and overnight sleeptimes for your baby. It makes it less frustrating because you wont be guessing what your baby might need. Everything is pretty much scheduled and this means you can schedule time for yourself too. Our bodies all follow some pattern. For example we get hungry 3 times a day and there is no reason why kids are any different. The best part is achieving the 12 hr sleep over night. 7pm-7am! Imagine by 7pm you can start unwinding and catching up on chores. I have to say with my baby it is 8pm to 7am because we are too busy all through out the day.

    3) Do not create a play area for the baby/ toddler. Make your whole house THE play room- child friendly and entertaining for the baby especially now that Mori will start crawling and walking. You will find that she will be independently playing and keeping herself busy without you having to entertain her or reatraining her from dangers. You can just sit and put your feet up while she does whatever she wants.

    4) Cleaning: always have tissues or towels arms reach so when she makes a mess you are not panicking and looking for thibgs to wipe with. Have towels and tissues in every corner. Also, invest in a vacuum cleaner rather than sweeping or picking up manually. Vacuum cleaner is quicker as long as you have it readily available. I always have mine out and not hidden in the “bodega” so whenever there is a mess. I literally just turn it on and vaccuum away which takes less than 1 minute! Really!

    5) Spot cleaning is better than general cleaning. Following number 4, whenever there is a mess, clean it up straight away. Saves you from dedicating a whole day just cleaning your house when you could be going out with ur hubby and baby on a weekend or something. Take 20 mins a day spot cleaning and thats it. General cleaning is fine on a monthly basis instead raher than weekly.

    I know I had too much advice but may I end this by saying you are impressive. Not many young moms with your background have your attitude especially if they have opportunities to just leave their babies in the care of others and have sometime for themselves and maintain their old lifestyle. Well done!

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  5. Hi Jennica. I really love reading your blog. Honestly, I am desiring to have a baby nah. but unfortunetly para mahirap ako mabuntis due to my PCOs problem. Im still hoping and praying to the Lord that He will give me kahit isa lang. wether boy or girl bsta healthy lang happy na ako. Actually I learn a lot of your blog even though wala pa akong baby..

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  6. Really can relate to your post. I’m a full time housewife and a mother of a 9 week old baby girl exclusive breastfeed din. Just like you , kami lang din ni baby naiiwan all day, since may work si husband.I chose din not to have a helper, my reason is kaya nga ko nagresign sa work para matutukan si baby like you gusto ko kasi hands on ako sa lahat kahit mahirap.

    Thank you sa blogpost mo ive learned alot from it at first nahirapan ako , pero to think na kinaya mo then kakayanin ko rin. You’re an inspiration for a first time and hands on mom like us.

    With God everything is possible.

    😄

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  7. Hi! I just followed you on Instagram and I discovered this blog of yours. I’m 21- getting 22 This May- and I am already married and have a 6-months old son. I am as well a part time Online tutor, so I could help my husband when it comes to finances. We don’t have a yaya either but Luckily, we could entrust our son to his lola. And this article or blog of yours is very helpful! Till now, i am still having a hard time managing my time. For my job, for the house, for my husband and of course, for my son. Grabe, I really appreciate your tips. I also cried a lot already. Hahaha! Super thank you, Darna!
    I hope you’ll read this. You deserve a slow clap for being a wonder mom, and for writing this ofcourse.

    P.S. You have a lovely little girl! Adorbs!!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. hi jennica 🙂 sobra naman akong nainspired sa mga post mo , i’ve enjoyed reading this , lalo na dun sa breastfeeding part , im also breastfed to my 4months old baby boy 🙂 , but suddenly my baby boy was always refused my breast when i was trying to feed him 😦 . Gusto nya lang mag latch saken kapag yung gutom na talaga sya , minsan pa nga dede nga sya kaso saglit lang , medyo worried tuloy kame ng hubby ko kasi baka pumayat si baby dahil ang tamad nyan dumadede saken , sana may maadvise ka saken ate jennica 🙂 . maraming salamat po 😊 and Godbless to you and your family 😊

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  9. Hi Jennica!

    I admire you! Hope we can exchange messages. My baby is 15 weeks na, and I’m a first time mom. I love to hear more personal advice from you😀.

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  10. Hi Jennica, eversince idol kita ginagaya pa nga kita, gusto ka din kc ng mom ko. Thanks for sharing ideas and your experience being a mom. I am also a mother of a 6 month old lovely baby girl and i also dont have a yaya since i gave birth, kaya naman super na inspire ako sayo, hindi pala ako nag.iisa. Kami lang ng baby ko naiiwan palagi sa house kc work ang hubby ko minsan panga out of town, hindi talaga xa madali.. Na amaze ako na isang Jennica Garcia, nakaya lahat yun, amazing! Thank you so much! i know you inspired a lot of stay a home moms out there, lalo na yung mga tulad natin na walang helper at nag.iisa lang sa bahay palagi kasi nasa work ang husband. I want to read more from you… God Bless You.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Reading this post is like sipping my favorite coffee for it warms my heart. Glad to have found your page, knowing that you are a woman (wife and mother) after God’s own heart. Blessed to discover women of the same journey I’ve been going through. A full time wife and stay-at-home mom here without a stay-in yaya, except for the extra help I’ve been getting once a week from our stay-out helper. I had Manang for 6 months only after I gave birth to our firstborn daughter who is now 33 months old. By the way, breastfeeding is the best talaga! You don’t have to wash too many bottles and sterilize them. I couldn’t imagine how I would be doing that and all the clothes that has to be folded piling up! I didn’t grow up to have a yaya to look after us, only a helper to lighten up the household work. So I guess managing our small home is not too difficult for me except now that our toddler is more active and I plan to homeschool her while I juggle part time being in a design and construction field. I am thankful to God for blessing me with a life full of His love and grace. Without Him, all of these things are not possible. Thank you for this post. God bless! 🙂

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  12. Hi Jennica! First time ko makita itong blog mo. Please continue to blog for Jesus, praise God nabasa ko itong blog post mo kasi malapit na kami umuwi ni husband at Rapha (turning 2mos old son) sa bahay namin at gagawin ko yung mga tips na nakasulat dito. ❤

    May God bless you and your family always. 😍🙌🙏❤

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