No Yaya, No Problem! (A Stay At Home Mom’s Guide to Survival)

I often get surprised remarks when people around me finds out that Mori doesn’t have a nanny… More surprised when my husband tells them that we don’t have a household helper at all. A usual follow up question is “how do you manage to do it?” I would normally just laugh, put a candy in my mouth, raise my right hand to the air and shout “Darna!”. Joke! 😛

Here’s a few tips on how I barely make it through the day.

 1.) Give your back a rest by  doing the laundry everyday if you can. You read that correctly, e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y.

Failing to do so will make your workload more time consuming and can eventually put a strain on your back. It’s a different story of course if you have an automatic washing machine! It’s what Alwyn and I is praying for. A very good investment! If your budget allows you to buy one, you should.

2.) Plan ahead and slowly establish a routine.

I usually do the planning during the wee hours of the morning. I jot down household chores that needs to be prioritized, I also write down what meals I’ll make and the like. I emphasized on “slowly” establishing a routine because with a child in tow, sudden mishaps can happen. Like in our home, there are days wherein Mori would be more than willing to sit next to me in her bouncer while I do the laundry for 2-3 hours. She would just sit there and watch the leaves fall from the trees when the wind blows a little harder than usual. She’d happily stare at the birds that rest on top of our gate, our cats circling her served as a good enough entertaintment and would smile at our neighbors as they pass by. But then there will be days where the act of lowering her to her bouncer would cue me to understand that nope! Laundry would have to wait till night time when my husband arrives from work so he could watch over Mori.

3.) Be realistic.

Don’t sulk when your daily routine gets disrupted. Accept the fact that having no helper means that the house won’t be at it’s tip top shape at all times.

 

4.) It’s true what they say,“It takes a tremendous village to raise a child”.

With that being said, call your in-laws or have a friend over once a week. Tell them you’ll be needing someone to watch over your baby while you deal with unfinished chores that should have been done days before.

Example: dirty laundry, mopping of floor, cleaning the bathroom, marinating meals for the coming days and so on.

5.) Don’t do household chores when baby is sleeping. Do it while baby is awake!

You’ll be surprised with how cooperative babies can be. When someone asks me what in particular is Mori’s favorite toy, I am quick to answer, hanger at sipit! Why? Because it’s what she see’s me using most of the time!

Babies who wants to be outside the home almost all the time or fusses less when in the mall is a sign that baby is getting little stimulation inside the home. Babies yearn to imitate. They prefer the world outside the home because there is a lot of activity and movement. I started noticing this when Mori complains every time I use my laptop or iPad for long periods of time. Again, there is no movement involved! The next time that your preparing ingredients to cook, do it where your baby will see you. Peel vegetables on the table with your child on her high chair instead of doing it in the kitchen sink where baby wouldn’t see the action that you are doing. Baby will no longer be bored and you get things done around the house! Everybody happy!

P.S. When baby is alseep, put your headphones on and listen to nursery rhymes on Youtube. Memorize a few then the next time that you’re doing a household chore and baby is starting to get bored, do it while singing. Sing to your child. Don’t open the iPad and make her watch it for herself. 

Here’s a sample scenario:

Mommy: *scrubs cloth diapers with soap to remove urine*

Baby: Starts whining and scratches head irritably out of boredom. Makes a crying sound but no tears.

Mommy: *engages with baby* You want to go outside because it’s hot here, yes? Okay! Let’s sing I have two hands first. *Mommy starts singing with enthusiasm* Mommy opens the faucet to remove soap in her hands, sets the basins aside and dries hand etc. Mommy does all this while singing. Distracting baby with singing buys Mommy a maximum of 15 minutes, use that time to prepare yourself and leave the scene with your baby without the drama of her crying her way out of the situation.

6. Don’t let time dictate if you’re opening a can of Spam or preparing a healthy meal for the family.

It is my duty as the wife of Alwyn and a mother to Mori to prepare meals that are good for them. I don’t want them to be sick because of what I serve them on a daily basis. More importantly, I choose a healthier lifestyle because I came to understand that taking good care of our body is something that my family owes to the Lord. It’s just wrong to take our health for granted, especially because of what Jesus had to go through on the cross just so we could live the life that we are living now.

Here’s a verse that you can reflect on and motivate you to prepare healthier meals.

You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

7. Maximize the benefit of using your husband’s credit card to pay for Uber. Kidding! Not kidding.

Include your Mommy Friends in your life’s list of necessities. If they have a child whose age is close to yours the better! Your baby and hers can play and distract each other while you get to enjoy long converstaions over a good food with your friend. 

P.S. Uber will only ask for your husband’s credit card number ONCE. Meaning, on your next ride with them, you don’t have to ask for your husband’s permission and use it anyway. Hahaha! I am just joking!

For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. Ephesians 5:22-23a

8.) Babywear.

When Mori was still a newborn and my husband is away to work, I remember crying so many times. I wasn’t expeting motherhood to be so hard. I felt that I wasn’t being a good wife to Alwyn because the house is a mess when he gets home, Mori and I were having troubles with breastfeeding and I just can’t seem to be of any use because we all know how newborns can be demanding of their needs! All this ended when I found out about babywearing and received not just one but two kinds of carriers. Since then,  I became more efficient at home. I was able to do the dishes and cook even if Mori wants to be held. Every mother should have one!

9.) Breastfeed!

One of the most beautiful breastfeeding photos that I’ve seen. Lola comfort feeds her apo. Takes my breath away every time! ❤

Full credit to BreastfeedingArt on Instagram for this photo. 

It may be the year 2016, but still,  no formula milk is proven to be better than the milk that comes from a Mother’s breast. I guess if a Mother has a helper at home, cleaning of the feeding bottles wouldn’t be so much of a pain but for mom’s like me, having to sanitize those bottles on top of scrubbing bathroom tiles, wiping baby’s urine off the floor,  not to mention, taking good care of two more cats that think they must be cared for equally because they are little humans… The sterilizing and constant cleaning of bottles will just add up to the many other chores that I barely get done in time! And oh, If I haven’t mentioned it yet, my husband and I still get to eat in our favorite restaurants because there is no designated budget for formula milk which is really expensive.

P.S. If for some reason the woman who is reading this is a formula feeding mommy, please don’t let the world eat you up.  Yes I am a believer and stand by the truth that breast is best. God will not put milk there if it’s not meant to nourish his own creation the best possible way. But if for some reason your family chooses to formula feed. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel guilty about it. For one, fomula feeding does not make you less of a mother. Two, if you choose to breastfeed and your baby is no longer a newborn, let’s say 6 months… Breastfeeding is still possible! I will introduce you to my breastfriend, Nurse Joyce. There is a way for you to produce milk again! Three, breastfeeding or not. Remember that God still finds favor in you. There’s just too much hate on the internet and I dislike seeing mother’s fight each other. No to Mommy Wars! Just… STOP ALREADY.

10.) Pray.

As with any relationship, it will not grow unless you communicate with each other. Therefore, I make it a point that no matter how crazy my day ends, I will end it with me and Jesus talking. I would usually start my quiet time when my husband and Mori is already sleeping. I find peace in knowing that when finally, it is time for me to rest, Jesus is waiting for me in the corner of our bedroom. He knew exactly how my day went but He would still listen as I tell him all about it anyway. There is joy in my heart in knowing that I should be strong for my husband and Mori but when it comes to the Lord, I can be weak. His arms are wide enough to hug me and whoever needed one. I strive to be the wife Alwyn is expecting of me because I love him but I am trying even harder each day because I know I am serving Jesus every time I submit to my husband. With every diaper change, the Lord is smiling. I am taking good care of his daughter that He entrusted to me and my husband. That’s the secret… Do things with great love… All for the Lord, Jesus Christ.

Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you are working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward and that the Master you are serving is Christ. – Colossians 4:23-24