Hello WORLD! ❤ My heart is filled with excitement and joy as I write this for you from the comforts of my home. As my husband puts it, “change is inevitable” and to me personally, change is good especially when done for the better.
Last month, I realized that I don’t take a break. In fact, I found out that I have a habit of wanting to do something constantly, verbally giving out excuses to myself to justify that things needs to be done and finally complaining to myself before going to bed that “I am just sooo tired”. Get the picture?
In my 27 years of existence, I haven’t truly faced my weaknesses and this my friend is what I long to change. Yes, I will list them all here to remind myself and inspire you to write down your own weaknesses as well so we can both move forward and enjoy life without fear, worldly things and insecurities blocking our way.
That’s my MOM! Oh the pressure of being her daughter. Hehe! Isn’t she beautiful? This photo is taken from an award winning indie movie that she did a few years back. She has no background in ballet but unlike me, she has always been a graceful dancer. The art of ballet is something that I always wanted to do but never really had the courage to do so. I remember telling my 17 years old self: “Jennica, ballet dancers are good because they started when they were 2 years old. You’re old already, you’ll break a vein. Scratch that, you’ll break a bone!” Fast forward to today, I am now 27, 10 years has past since I said those lines and you know what irritates me? I can’t believe I called myself old at 17! What was I even thinking?! If I don’t start taking ballet lessons today, I think I’ll regret it later on in life. Mori is showing signs that she enjoys dancing, well, I’d like to join her dance and not just watch her strut her stuff from a distance. Ballet school it is!
I started working as a television and movie actress at the age of 18 and stopped working full time when I got pregnant at 25. With that kind of job, it is normal to work for 24 hours a day and sometimes even more. Since I’ve been so used to it, naging magaling ako sa puyatan. I honestly believe that I’ve mastered it and unfortunately, it is something that I apply to this very day, even if there is no longer a need for it. Because I focus on taking good care of my husband, looking after Mori and tending our home during the day, I look forward to late nights (10:00PM-4:00AM) so I can do things for myself. Things that I’ve been aching to do while my husband and toddler is awake but just can’t, due to my responsibilities like cleaning, cooking, gardening, nature walks, storytelling etc. It became a habit and to give you an over view of how my daily life is like it’s like this… We all wake up at 9 or 10 in the morning. Mori sleeps between 8PM-10PM then I stay up till 4 in the morning the following day. I either read a good book, work on future workshops that I wish to host, watch korean drama’s online or get my hands on some craft work like embroidery, sculpting, painting, knittting, crocheting or my most favorite past time which is sewing dolls! Starting this May, this is what I wish to change… I plan to wake up at 6 in the morning and be in bed by 9:30 in the evening with the hope that I am already knocked out by 10. Meaning, instead of doing things that relaxes me late at night, I do them early in the morning. I’ll let you know if I am able to pull this off!
3. Manika Marahuyo (Doll Company)
I never thought starting a Doll Company would be so hard, especially since I have no plans in mass producing them. A natural fiber art doll that is made by hand can take 15-40 hours to finish. This month of May, I intend to finish at least three dolls so I could launch Manika Marahuyo. Manika means doll in our native language which is Tagalog while Marahuyo is an adjective that means, ‘to be enchanted’. I computed the cost and since the price can be steep due to the materials, shipping them here alone takes me about $100. That’s 5,000 in Philippines Peso plus labor which is the amount of work I put into each doll… I have a feeling that our market will be US and Europe. Because of this, my husband and I picked a brand name which is tagalog. I want my creations to represent the Philippines since most doll artist that are famous for making collectible dolls are from faraway countries.
4. Spiritual Discipline
While others struggle with peer pressure, worldly things and whatnot, my weakness has always been spiritual discipline and going out of my way to love and serve. It is very difficult for me to be still and surrender myself in prayer. When I do I start praying and it is the same when I am reading my Bible, in the middle of it all my mind starts wandering somewhere else. When I close my eyes and kneel to do my quiet time before going to bed, I just lose it! When I open my eyes once more, the sun has already risen and breakfast has to me made pronto for the family.
As Mahatma Gandhi once said,
“If Christians lived according to their faith, there would be no more Hindu left in India.”
As author Joana Weaver said in her book, ‘Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World’,
This great leader of the Indian nation was fascinated at the thought of knowing Christ. But when he met Christians, he felt let down. Unfortunately, the world is filled with people who feel the same. They are intrigued by the claims of Christ, but they shrink back because of the disappointment with his offspring. “Don’t look at people,” we might protest. “Look at Jesus.” But while that may be true, the sobering truth remains: Whether we like it or not, we’re the only Jesus some will ever see.
Dwight L. Moody put it this way:
Of one hundred men, one will read the Bible; the ninety-nine will read the Christian.
I feel like bawling in tears as I type this. Satan really has his ways to make us lose sight of what’s really needed in our life. The only thing that we need, really. How can I even sing at the top of my lungs in church that ‘Lord you are all I need, Lord you have my heart’ when a day passes without having one decent conversation with my Creator. When I don’t even invite him to come into my life. My Creator who has been nothing but good to me… Whose hands were pierced with the thoughts of me.. Beaten to death with thoughts of YOU.
Henry Blackaby reminds us in his book, ‘Experiencing God’,
Jesus did nothing of his own initiative, according to John 5:19. Instead the Son did “only what he [saw] his Father doing.
I am inviting you to join me. Let us connect ourselves back to the Vine so that we can start bearing fruits that would enable us to be in the likeness of Christ Jesus our Lord (Read John 15:1-17).
5. Internet Hiatus
Now unto the final change that I wish to apply is having limited access to internet. With all the things that I wish to accomplish for this month, I just feel that I will have a difficult time making it a reality if I have the world wide web distracting me. Now I have a group and a page that needs to be managed which is Kalinga Ni Nanay… The best I could do is be online every Wednesday for 2 hours only and post a photo or an article on a Saturday to remain in the loop on both Instagram and Facebook.
To the moms who are members of Kalinga Ni Nanay, please check the pinned post of our private group, I indicated my mobile number so that you can reach me if there is an emergency.
Now I urge you to grab a drink and get a hold of your planner if you have one. Write down your priorities and the dreams that you’ve chosen to bury deep in your heart because your current work is making it impossible for you to actually do or your age is causing you to have doubts or whatever reason the world is throwing at you.
Think of ways on how you can make it happen but this time, include Jesus and watch your dream become a reality.
Thank you for dropping by to read what I have to say. You’re awesome! ❤